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An English Bull Terrier and how to live with/without them eBook!
An English Bull Terrier - equally applicable to puppies, re-homes and rescue's - learn not only about an owners problems but also the sheer enjoyment gained during the course of bringing one up from a puppy!
We know it takes time and effort, but that knowledge doesn’t always translate into the relationship we want. Do you look around at other couples and wonder how they’re so happy all the time?
Of course, what we see in public and on Facebook isn’t the whole picture by a long shot, but it can shake our confidence about our own relationship. The truth is, while a great relationship takes work, part of that work is relaxing and letting go of the little things that could bother you.
As you read through the following 10 tips, you’ll see that sometime we create problems, and the solution is to look at your partner with love and acceptance.
It’s a choice: do you want perfection or do you want to be happy?
And when you let go of some things, you’ll find that you might have the perfect relationship. You just had to see it!
Here’s 10 ways you can make your relationship great, including some ways that you can change your perception for a big impact!
1. See your partner for who they are
We’re taught some gender expectations as we grow up, and then we get bombarded with ideas of what our romantic partner should be, and what they should do for us.
It’s hard not to look at your partner and see how they don’t measure up to social media posts and articles about the perfect partner.
Consider why you fell in love with your partner, and what they actually bring to the relationship, instead of wishing they could be like so-and-so’s husband, according to her Facebook posts.
If you have anger, bitterness, resentment, and other negative feelings about something, think about why you expect your partner to fulfill the need you’re upset about.
Is it a realistic expectation, based on who your partner is?
You’ll make your life so much easier, and your relationship so much better, if you set relationship expectations based on who your partner truly is, not who you think they should be, or who others expect them to be.
This doesn’t mean to lower your standards or “settle” but simply to see the value your partner brings, and the good things they offer you.
2. Don’t bottle things up
I’m including this tip because...well, I’m an expert at bottling things up and then growing resentful.
It starts with something small that offends me or hurts my feelings. I’m not the kind of person who will speak up immediately. Instead I’ll step back, trying to decide if I should feel the way I do.
And 99 times out of 100, I am upset. I realize I should have said something. At that point, I’ll expect my partner to realize their mistake. But it hardly ever works that way. So I mentally chew on it, and basically let it fester until a little thing is a huge issue.
Often, when you’re carrying around one hurt, other things get added in. The list grows. That makes it harder to start a conversation because it could become an attack with this long list of complaints.
See why it causes way more trouble than it should?
Unaddressed problems cause resentment, and that kills relationships.
If something has upset you and you can’t let go of it, you’re not doing yourself or your partner any favors by keeping it to yourself.
If you want a happy relationship, go to your partner to discuss things when they bother you, and don’t assume your partner’s intent. They probably didn’t mean to hurt you. It’s likely they have no idea that something is bothering you.
If something really bothers you, talk about it.
Take a look at the videos here if you're not yet convinced